Quest of Stains

Goblin Balls and Dinosaurs
A Quest to Collect the Dragon Balls

Mounted a tiny-ass Frost Dragon so hard that it died. Weird red lady with a massive sword shows up. Fuckin’ Kobato became a goo-girl and then I put a bomb on the Goblin King’s head. Dino almost kills Kobato and Darina should be dead right now. I’m in a box with Maria because we touched an alter.

To Catch a Gnome
A Quest to Collect the Dragon Balls
Three Sisters, One Mummy
A Quest to Collect the Dragon Balls

Catfolk’s Log; Land Date 29/5/957:

We ventured into the Grand Bazaar in order to gather supplies for our journey into the desert. Grabbed some parasols and cooling gels. Rented these awesome looking suits that give us free water and clean the air we breath. The first day was boring as heck because NOTHING HAPPENED.

Catfolk’s Log; Land Date 30/5/957:

Part way through our second day in this massive litter box, Aiken thought he saw something and asked, " Kuromori, what do your elf eyes see?"
“Not 100% sure man, but they’re creepy looking.”
He wasn’t kidding. After they charged at us and fell over dead, we found out they were made out of ashes and blood. That was it. So we continue on and come across a nice looking inn on their own personal oasis. Inside we met three nice ladies who, as it turns out, were sisters. They made us some food and let us stay the night with them. Aiken and Dare really seemed to get along with them; they stayed up all night yelling each others names. What an odd game…

Catfolk’s Log; Land Date 31/5/957:

The three sisters were walking a little weird this morning but Dare and Aiken seemed to be in pretty good moods so I guess the boys won the game. I caught some fish in there lake (yes) while some of the others helped tend to the ladies’ farm. Kuromori was acting all grumpy saying, “I don’t trust them, I’m not gonna.” After hauling in my fishies, the ladies and I made a nice feast and they taught me how to make sushi! I never had time to learn at the Academy! The food was lovely but yet again Kuromori was getting all picky. Hmph.

Catfolk’s Log; Land Date 32/5/957:

After a sweet breakfast and a slightly awkward goodbye, it was time to start heading deeper into this desert. Most of the day was uneventful but everything changed when the worm nation attacked. From behind we all suddenly heard a loud thundering and could feel the ground shake. At our backs there was a large pack of what Aiken called ashworms! It took a while but we realized that running was not going to work. So instead the dust-elf had the thought to just stand still. The worms shot past us, but we had a…. bigger problem. By bigger I mean a MASSIVE dust worm. With no where else to go but up, we went up. As in on top of this thing. Awesome. The boat captain steered this big guy with explosions through the deadly wind wall that was now just to the left of us. All of those rocks and sand shards hurt and then it got really hot. So hot that the sand had become glass. The wind had simply stopped, and our new found group sized mount was thrashing beneath us. It looked so sad that we put it out of it’s misery. It then proceeded to explode all over everybody. The last thing I saw before passing out from the pain from being impaled by a worm spike was the Kobold being shot out of the sky. He died. Dare carved an odd symbol into his forehead then shoved a ball into his mouth. No idea how but he’s alright now and that black orb stopped glowing. Free stuff from it’s stomach (yay, kind of). Nap time….

Catfolk’s Log; Land Date 33/5/957

Looking around, this town was abandoned looong ago. Everything was covered in more than one layer of sand and dust. After rummaging through a magical bag that gave me a free brush we investigate a strange tree in the town square that had an amulet around one of its roots. It tried to kill us, Kobold almost died again. We grabbed its shiny things, I took a snazzy dragon comb from it. Oh and Dare’s new sword made him a woman.

Upon looking up at the peak of the grand pyramid, it was determined that the peak was glowing. The dancer really seemed interested in the strange symbols on the wall even though they really did not give us any information about the town or the wind wall. The first few rooms were rather plain, with most of the doorways covered by rubble. More symbol reading. One room had a small pool filled with a strange liquid in it. All I wanted to do was figure out what it was but noooo, it had to reach out and attack me! No way I was standing around for that. It was kawabata time. The slime thing took quite the liking to Kobato. That thing grabbed her and didn’t let go until she magically appeared in another room. Must have been that crazy cool looking cape. Dare tried slicing at it with his new cold short sword but the creature just split in half. A few divisions and one missing bard later, Szzlx summoned a pit under the goo and tossed some sort of mining explosive in with them. Dare and I kept them in the pit until the bomb went off.

More symbols. Head upstairs and there is this odd black layer at the bottom of the steps. Kuromori tossed in an arrow only for the floor to separate around it. Ew. Not sure why but Dare shoved his sword in there and the scarabs started crawling into his skin. Ew. With no idea how to get those things out without killing Dare too, we blew the Call of the Dingler. He runs up, grabs the whistle and blows it in such a way that the beetles instantly leave his body. The Dingler smashed clear through the wall and beats a hasty retreat. Kobato fans them out the opening and we slowly deal with the swarm.

I found a cool staff in the corner of the bug room that I gave to Szzlx. On the second floor there was a pool room identical to the one below with the slime but at least this one’s fillings weren’t alive. Still deadly, but at least it wasn’t actively coming for our necks. Kobato smashed a hole so that the upper pool flowed into the bottom one. Szzlx flew up another level only to encounter a mummy. Dare threw up a hook and we pulled the mummy all the way to the first floor. There was a chest with a single leather glove and two eye lenses. The tiny half-vampire pried the sandy source of the glowing from the ceiling; an orb of a similar size and shape as the black one used to save our previously dead Kobold friend. As we are about to make our leave, our mummy pal had made his way back to the second level. No way are we fighting this straight up after those bugs and slimes. Que kitty-cat piƱata time. The old dust bag had what turned out to be a Ring of Dispel Magic. Now all we have to do is get back past this wind wall….

Hentai, Pirates, and Cats OH MY!
A Quest to Collect the Dragon Balls

So the priest in Brightwood that was raising Lucy with Alice let us know that the forest had been acting strange lately. Of course we have to check it out, when things stop acting right it’s usually one of those orbs. Heading North-West into the centre of the forest we encountered a pack of Dire Wolves. Now all we wanted to do was help the forest so I kindly told them to bugger off so we could get on our way. As night got ever closer, Dare, Kobato and Aiken set up camp while Kuromori and I went to try to gather some food. We found a large boulder with two strange plants on them and one very dead man on the ground. On one plant, there were berries. Very, very poisonous berries. The other was an Assassin Vine. Threw a couple of fireballs at the Assassin Vine and Kuromori made a massive leap up the rock the strike it. Grabbed some poison berries and a few bags that release tentacle things that grab the nearest person. Kinky.

Frankly, I don’t remember much before the berries. They must have done something after I ate them, because APPARENTLY they were poisonous. That grrr of a Druid didn’t let me know. Any ways, anomalies were happening throughout the forest. Animals were disappearing and people were constantly getting lost in what seemed to be an ever recurring forest. From what we gathered from the town outside of the forest, a Druid (too many Druids) knew the way to the centre and if I have learned anything from my years doing jobs, the centre is where shit goes down. After the druid led us to the centre we discovered a lake with a island in the centre. I swam the lake like a bad-ass and lead the party to what appeared to be some ruins on pillars. Standing on stone and not understanding what the pillars were, Kobato got fed up and smashed the ground, breaking the stone and revealing a hole and basically another dungeon. After jumping, fighting, skype messaging (get premium now), trap dodging, bolder running, slime fighting, cloaking wearing, cloak strangling, and rune matching we discovered the third “dragon ball” as Maria calls them, the problems in forest seemed to stop. Yay for hippies. After leaving the dungeon Neylea deciced to stay behind and train with the totally lesbian, old druid lady. Well fuck her anyway I guess, the world is totally not in any danger, but who am I to judge, I want my pay and then I want out. Speaking of pay, to spend the money we have earned Aiken suggested we sail to Sundol, land of deserts, racism, slaves, and bazaars. I learned how to sale the S.S Pimp Boat and we started our not so smooth sailing to Slaves-ville. On the way there pirates (yarr) decided to come up beside us and attack. So while the majority of the party stayed below deck sleeping Me, Aiken, and Kobato fought the pirates until something un-expected happened. It started raining cats, well cat. Swooping in from the sky, a previously unknown figure (we now know as Fluffy) kicked some pirate ass, whilst dumb, dumber, and Scooby tried to catch a “fish”. Defeating all the pirates except the Captain we all banded together and pulled a treasure chest from the river. We persuaded the Captain to pick the lock on account we let him live, but then he opened the chest and we brutally beat him, then Fluffy finished that shit. With this cat now on our ship (whom was kinda being mean) we continued to Slaves-ville. Arriving and doing some paper work we got into the Oasis city of Dallol with most of our party desguised as slaves. This is where I sit writing this now as Kobato walks by me with a newly bought slave.


Return to Arcadia
A Quest to Collect the Dragon Balls

The crypt, which turned out to be a winding labyrinth, was filled with ghouls, wights, wraiths and a really big gray thing that nearly killed Dare and Aiken. We secured the artifact, which was a glowing white orb. Very similar to the black one that Alice found when we first met…. Leaving the dungeon everybody seemed quite a bit stronger, all except for Maria. How odd. After another weeks worth of boat travel, we arrived in Neas then headed for Yemis. Upon arriving, we encountered that scam artist of a merchant and as it turns out, there are TWO of them! Aiken and Kuromori pooled some gold together to purchase the all powerful “Call of the Dingler,” Aiken alone purchased 5 Runestones of Answering then immediately used three (though with good cause). The growling one purchased an odd Cape that flaps as if there is always a breeze and I snagged 3 Cupid Arrows. While all this was happening, Kobato was getting drunk with some older men. With new found confidence, Aiken asked Maralynn to marry him. She said yes! Of course we have to have a maid themed bachelorette party so I cleaned all the stained ones, including and especially Kobato’s. No, I don’t care if she was drunk and that was all she was wearing at the time. It’s canon. After some resting we made our way back to Brightwood and Alice. The baby seems to be doing well but Alice could still freeze a red dragon’s breath. Will senpai ever notice me?

Maiden Voyage of the S.S. Truckboat
A Quest to Collect the Dragon Balls

Arrived in Cillinas on the newly acquired SS Truckboat to find that Kuromori was to be executed but that was called off when his brother, who was the new king, “mysteriously” died. We then meet his younger sister and a strange man that growled at us. Aryll, Kuromori’s sister, apparently hired this growling man that calls himself " Dare " for whatever reason. He must think he’s really cool or something. The brand new Royal Highness’ Royal Adviser of Royal Highnesses advised us to collect some orbs that will supposedly allow us to send the terrible demons back to their own realm. The first of such artifacts is located in Atherton, Krytal. Under a massive cathedral in the center of town there stood an enormous enchanted door that could only be passed by solving a riddle, then four puzzles. After some struggle and/or instantaneous problem solving, we made our way back to the sealed door. Quite the foreboding set of steps lay before us. I certainly hope we will all make it out in one piece.

To Brightwood!!

Moonkin attack. Kobato ran into a spider web. They kill it, free a dwarf (who was roughed up a bit…) and receive a “bottle of breathing”. Fey attack Alice, she loses memories. Make it to Brightwood and find the church in hopes of having a priest cure Alice. Neylea and Maria find that the priest has gone to a large Vampire filled mansion in an attempt to rid his town of this new plague. Szzlx distracts a large group of the vampires in the house with his new “Blood for the Blood God” # Khorne religious journey. Neylea, Kobato and Maria sneak into a hidden side door that leads into a library. They sneak around; finding 9 Maid’s Outfits, 5900g in a safe in the wine cellar, a ring of sustenance, black vest of 4 lock picking/6 escape artist, crazy good lockpicks (in the vest pockets), a red and gold cape of mountebank, a ring of water-walking and a pair of gauntlets with +2 to ogre strength. Kobato stole the body of the Master of the House’s wife and the corpse of the Leader of the Vampires. She appeared to be 8 years of age.


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